Human beings are social animals. Most of us crave the comfort and warmth of sharing life experiences and love with others. Most of us crave the intimacy of a love relationship, with shared hopes, dreams, and adventures of life.
We want deep and loving relationships, and they are a lot of hard work to make them happen. A friend of mine said, the dream is on the other side of the hard work.
Having the dream is worth it. That makes the hard work worth it, too.
Part of the hard work is being realistic about timing.
Timing matters about dealing with things within a loving relationship.
If your partner has had a lot of external conflict or stress in the day, it is probably not the best time to bring up talking about a new challenge you are interested in. It may be time to listen, to just be together, and to nurture, rather than a time to bring up additional conversation that may be stressful.
Timing also matters in starting a new relationship. Being in a healthy place and relationship with yourself first gives a better chance of relationship success.
What kinds of timing issues could there be?
1. Work Stress. If your career is at a point where it is demanding 70 or 80 hour weeks, where you are exhausted the rest of the time and your mind is full of work challenges and solutions, it’s probably not the best time to try to start a new relationship. Your date may very well feel neglected and overlooked. What can you do? Make some changes in your priorities if you can. Or have a conversation, let the person know you’re interested and that you need a bit of time to straighten things out. Either he or she accepts that and is willing to wait a bit, or not. You’ve taken responsibility, and need to accept both your situation and the response.
2. Financial Difficulties. Tough financial times are not a good time to begin a relationship. Your partner could feel used as a money resource. You could embroil your partner in your problems rather than find common interests.
3. Recent breakup. No matter how well you broke up, you will have some loss to deal with. It’s best to heal from the baggage of your loss before you try to enter into a new relationship.
4. Recent trauma. It could be a death in the family, an illness, the loss of a job, even being in an accident or a crime victim. The best idea is to work through your emotions over the trauma before investing in a new relationship. Things are going to come up until you deal that will interrupt and strain the exploration and fun you want to have.
5. Long Distance. Relationships are hard enough without adding long distance. In a new relationship you want to get to know one another, spend time together, and share experiences. The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is precious. Resentments may occur that wouldn’t happen without the distance challenge.